Say What?

As of yesterday, my obligations to Noy are finished. I paid her off early so we could get our home loan processed. They couldn't give us a home equity loan as long as Noy still had a lean against the home. It was a bit of a hassle getting her to make it to her attorney's office to sign the Quit Claim but she finally did that for us yesterday. It's sort of odd but for the first time in over 20 years, I have no obligations to her. I know for certain that she would like to talk occasionally to see how I'm doing and what is new with my mom and siblings and I'd like to stay up with what's happening in Joe and David's life but I don't think that will happen. We need to go our own ways now and if fate has it we will meet again someday. If Dave or Joe ever do make it back into town I hope they would give me a call and we could meet for lunch but I don't even see that happening. I don't think Joe and Dave are very interested in having much to do with me...

We saw Jars of Clay at Grace Church in Eden Prairie tonight. What a good show they put on. Rachel has really developed a taste for Christian rock in the past few months. I know she can't wait for The Elms to come back through town so we can go see them again. Here's a song they played tonight called, Show You Love . It's a song about stepping outside your comfort zone and reaching out to those in need around the world and giving of our overflowing abundance. Speaking of abundance...Tammy and I went to a few homes on the Parade of Homes list to get some ideas for our basement. Some of the homes were in the million-dollar price range. It was interesting to see what you get for that price. We found a townhome we both liked very much and could probably very easily be talked into something like it after we retire. I made my last payment to Noy yesterday. I dropped off all my canceled checks from the previous year's payments at her attorney's office so he could revie...

I can't begin to say how much I love my daughter. She is such a good person and her heart is in the right place. Tammy has helped to give her a very good foundation upon which to build her life...oh, I suppose I have helped some too. I'm worried though that she seems to be drifting apart from her father the past few months. When he has her for the weekend he seldom engages her and when he does it's usually in a critical way. I dunno, I think maybe he's a bit insecure and becoming more so as Rachel grows and matures. I think his heavy-handedness is some sort of control that he feels he needs to maintain. Last week, Rachel put a tattoo on her arm of Jesus' name in the shape of a fish. She had it there several days and proudly displayed her devotion to Christ. She mentioned to me that she filled out a questionnaire in choir class and one of the questions had to do with what are you passionate about. She wrote down Jesus Christ. Wow...I'm so impressed at her ope...

Do you ever wonder how your world would change if you lost your job? How would you react? Would you be bitter or would you strive to be better? Would you be angry at God or would you feel that everything happens for a reason and continue moving forward not knowing how you're going to manage in the weeks and months ahead. Would you crawl into a shell and withdraw from those who love and care about you? I think I'd first do a lot of thinking about what is really important to me and begin to understand that possessions take much more of a secondary role than we realize. Houses, cars, furniture, and other material trappings can be sold or they can hold you back. I've been doing some thinking along these lines lately because I'm at a bit of a crossroads at work. In a worst-case scenario, I could be without the job I've had for over 22 years. I pray that I'll be able to work through all of this and come to a realistic agreement with management about how to proceed...

I don't know why but I'm feeling out of sorts tonight. I think I'm preoccupied about some issues at work. I have no idea how this is going to play out and it has me worried. I went for a long ride Thursday after I woke up. I was hoping to sort through some things and I think I did that but it still leaves a lot of questions unanswered and that is the source of my anxiety. Thursday was a hot day with the temp well into the 80s. It's been so cool the entire month of August so I really wanted to be in the hot sun. I rode out Cedar ave into a southwest wind gusting to 25 mph. I zigged and zagged until I got to Hwy 2 and took that west through New Market I continued on Hwy 2 struggling to maintain a good speed with the wind making the ride difficult. It had been years since I'd taken Hwy 2 this far and I really wasn't sure what to expect. I went through the town of Union Hill and remembered how I used to come through this area on my trips back from Huron with Noy 2...