Tuesday, January 18, 2005


I continue to have the recurring dream with different variations. A couple nights ago the dream morphed into one where the fish in our fish tank had jumped out and were dying on the floor. It got more foreboding when I was standing with Rachel watching as large cliffs of sand were falling over and burying people. I noticed a snake on top of one of the cliffs and in the next scene I'm holding the snake in my hand and nibbling at its tail. I look down to see that the snake has bitten into my thumb nail but it didn't draw any blood. There was no pain but then I've never experienced pain in a dream.

I mentioned the dream to Jackie and she immediately came to the conclusion that my dreams are about Noy. When I first began having them I too thought the same thing but I discounted that idea. The more I think about it though the more I think Jackie may be right. These dreams are about neglect and abandonment. I hadn't neglected my obligations to Noy but since my support payments to her were final a few months ago I suppose it could be interpreted that I abandoned her. It's a very sad dream which leaves me with a very heavy feeling.

A couple weeks ago I exchanged a some emails with her son, Joe. I hadn't had any contact with him in two years so it was nice to see how he was doing. He mentioned that his mother was in Thailand visiting her family and was nowhere near the tsunami. I contacted Joe because an old friend of his mother's was attempting to contact her. Susy is a good Christian person and the type of person I've been praying would find their way into Noy's life. I hope they're able to connect.

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