I made my way through the Bible once again this past year, both Old and New Testaments. This marks my 7th journey through both books but rather than feeling like I have a better understanding for all I've read I feel just the opposite, especially concerning the Old Testament. I'm not sure I'll go back there anytime soon. I think in the future I'll explore books that delve into explanations of what I'm struggling with, some of which I've written about over the last several months.
My faith is still intact although I'm feeling more confused than ever. I suppose the easiest way to say it is that I've become someone who has more questions than answers and those questions leave me bewildered. Also troubling to me is the way we Christians pick and choose those parts of the Bible we want to strictly follow while ignoring other even more meaningful scripture such as how Jesus calls us to help our fellow man or how he taught passivity while abhorring aggression. I'm seeing so little of what Jesus modeled in our society today from those who identify themselves as Christians. The whole gun-rights debate being one thing that stands out for me. And for the record: I'm far, so far from who God wants me to be.
I'm at work as I write this. As I got back into the area an hour ago the supervisor pulled me aside to tell me that a friend of ours who retired from air traffic control nearly 12 years ago has been very recently diagnosed with terminal lung and bone cancer. He's been given 6 to 12 months to live. That is just so sad. Mike is such a good guy. I tried to phone him but there was no answer. I think there may be a few guys who worked with Mike that possibly catch my updates here. I have KH's phone number if any of you would like it. You can find my email address in my profile here.
As Lee was telling me about Mike it suddenly dawned on me that I'd dreamt about him just last night. I don't think I've ever had a dream that Mike was a part of but I have a history of this sort of thing happening with my dreams. Mike was a bike nut like me and used to ride a lot until he was hit by a car several years ago and gave it up. In my dream Mike was back on the road again and he was enjoying his bike more than ever. He was smiling and so full of life. Lee said that Mike was remaining optimistic and even making plans for golfing this summer. I wonder if I can get him to squeeze in plans for a ride with me?
Edit... (Monday night, 12/31)
I just got off the phone with Mike. He's optimistic about all he's facing but at the same time he acknowledges that his cancer is only treatable and not curable. Still, he's praying for a miracle. He's expecting to begin a regimen of both chemotherapy and radiation soon.
He mentioned that he has a CaringBridge site and was happy when I told him I'd spread the word about it. I'll link to his page but it may be that you'll need to go to the main site and register before you're able to access his pages. He's listed as Mike Koch1.