Saturday, June 9, 2018

Finding a Balance and So Long, Anthony

It's a dreary day outside my den window but I welcome these sorta days. We're between lines of thunderstorms and the birds are using the respite to fill the air with their songs. I've got nowhere that I need to be.

It's taken me nearly a few years of retirement but I've finally reached the point where I'll allow myself to take an afternoon nap. A nap was never something I could indulge in when I was working because it only made more of a mess of my sleep schedule than it already was. It's nice to know I can play that card pretty much whenever I choose to now.

I've been spending more time riding than golfing this year and I'm enjoying the change of pace. I sorta neglected my riding for my love of golf last year and although I have no regrets about my time spent walking the links, I wanted to find more of a balance this year.

While I enjoy the relaxed nature of a round of golf, it can't compare to a hard workout on any of my bikes. My fitness is still lacking on the bike but it's coming around and I find that to be encouraging. I still have issues with knee pain (and likely always will) so I especially enjoy days when they're both feeling good and allow me to go hard to where my quads are feeling the burn and my heart rate's history shows an abundance of time spent in the red zone afterward. A good ride will leave me with a satisfied feeling long after my bike has been put away. I also try and manage at least one to two days of long walks each week.

Toby woke me up before 6:00 AM yesterday as he typically does. I let the pups outside and went back in to turn on the TV and fill their bowls with food. I stood there stunned, hearing talk of the passing of Anthony Bourdain. I was especially saddened when I learned that he'd taken his life, leaving behind an 11-year-old daughter. What a tragic loss but just as tragic, what sort of demons must he have been battling?

It's understandable to question how someone who seemed to be blessed in ways unimaginable to the rest of us could throw it all away. But that's not how depression works. I'll get in an occasional funk where I'm feeling blue, but I can typically pull myself out of it by taking a quick inventory of my life's blessings then dutifully banish my pitiful thoughts. But that's me. I have to accept that for some my method isn't an option.

Sometimes I'll hear people say that God won't ever give you more than you can handle. I used to nod my head in agreement but I no longer do.

I loved his show for the way it gave us a glimpse of worlds unfamiliar to our own, and for his commentary. He was a remarkable man in a most down-to-earth way.

I think I'll go catch a quick nap then go for a walk; maybe the rain will be done by then.

(I just noticed that the video below needs to be opened on YouTube's page. Just follow the link. It's worth the extra click.)


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