A Brave New World, Part 4 (finale)

I hadn't intended to write all this about my life when I began this 'Brave New World' topic a few nights ago. It just sort of happened. This is part 4 of what began with me reminiscing about changes in my life that occurred nine years ago. Here's the initial post if you haven't read it. From there you'll find the others in the order they were written.

I'm sure that there were some concerns from members of our families who may have felt we were moving too quickly by getting married after only knowing each other such a short time. I'd likely have had the same concerns if I were in their shoes. Tammy and I felt early on that God was in the middle of our relationship and that it was He who brought us together. I don't know how I can explain it any simpler.

It was nice that Rachel knew Kelsey and Cole (her cousins-to-be) from riding the bus to school. There were several things Tammy and I had in common which were encouraging to our relationship and each in their own small way gave us an assurance that we were right for each other. Some silly, some not. Each one by themselves means little but when you begin to add them up it becomes difficult not to notice. You have to ask yourself; is God really in the small details or are these just coincidences? A few of those details to consider:

*Our faith. We both attended similar churches on opposite ends of the metro area. The type of church Tammy attended was as important to her as mine was to me. She'd told herself that she wouldn't leave North Heights Lutheran Church unless she found something comparable. We went to a Saturday night service at my church, Hosanna, and she said that it was very much like the church she belonged to and that she would be very happy at Hosanna. Hosanna is just over a mile away from where we live.

*I'd been married to a woman from Thailand and Tammy had been married to a man from Vietnam. Having been exposed to the Asian culture in my previous marriage would help me understand better the side of Rachel that her dad would bring to her life.

*We're nearly the same age as Tammy is just a few months younger than me.

*We both drove Nissan pickup trucks. That's a bit odd because, unlike other parts of the country where Nissan trucks are plentiful, the same can't be said for this area.

*We had the same bedroom furniture. You would think that it must be some common sort of style or manufacturer but it's not. When Noy and I divorced she took the dresser and a nightstand from the set as part of our agreement. Tammy had those same pieces. It couldn't have been a better fit.

*We both spent just one day in the Girl/Boy Scouts when we were younger. Each of us was not interested in continuing on.

*We each had a sibling who lived within a few miles of the other.

*We're both artistic.

*We're both conservatives.

*We both bought Collective Soul's Dosage and Marc Cohn's Burning the Daze a couple weeks before meeting each other. We actually have a lot of the same music.

*We both shared an interest in stained glass.

*Working out and staying fit is important to both of us.

*We were both on Digital Cities at the same time looking for a partner.

Some people may say that those are interesting coincidences but nothing more. We'd disagree.

After our wedding, we had a few weeks for Rachel to adjust to her new surroundings before she'd begin 2nd grade. She had no problem making friends in her new neighborhood and there were plenty to choose from. She took to her new environment better than I'd expected with just one small glitch on her first night here. We have a home alarm and when I set it that night she took it to mean that we had an alarm because we must live in an unsafe area. There were a few tears born of fear. I explained to her that we lived in a very safe neighborhood and that the alarm was mostly there because my brother used to work for the company that sold it to me and that Bryan installed it. No more tears.

There was contentment to my life with Tammy and Rachel that I'd never known. I found myself wanting to freeze time and live in the moment forever. Why would I want to wish these years away? While the guys at work couldn't seem to get through the years before retirement fast enough, I was trying to do just the opposite. My view of wanting to slow my time to retirement has certainly changed in the past 18 months but it has nothing to do with my family. Read further into my blog to understand why.

Regardless of how fast or slow, we'd like the years to pass by, they'll be here and gone too soon.

Fast forward to today. We've been together for nearly nine years but it seems like so much less. Rachel has grown from a little girl to a young woman and will be off to college in a little more than two years. I'm eligible to retire but hope to keep doing what I'm doing for another five years. Tammy intends to keep working for several more years as well.

I think of Tammy and Rachel and I thank God daily for them being in my life. I don't speak of Rachel as being my stepdaughter. She's my daughter. I know it's not intended to be but the 'step' part seems to put a negative connotation on our relationship and I don't like that. I couldn't love Rachel any more than I do if she were my own child. There's nothing I wouldn't do for her.

I couldn't have found a better partner in life than Tammy. Besides being the love of my life we're also best friends. I know that's cliche but it's true. I love spending time with her more than anybody else I can think of.

So let's hear it for a few guilty pleasures, for technology and silly romantic movies as well as following your heart. I couldn't have planned my life the way it's turned out nor can I tell you what tomorrow will hold. I'm not in control.

He is.