Monday, June 13, 2011

They're Back and Preparing for a Double

My recurring dream is back. It's been a while since I last dreamed it and I would've been quite happy if it never revisited me. It's about as disturbing as any dream I can remember. I used to have a couple pet Cockatiels years ago and one of them was especially sweet and dear to me. In the dream, I go down into a part of our basement that's secluded from the rest of our house, a place where I seldom go. When I open the door I find the birdcage with both Coocoo and Coconut inside. I'm shocked because I've totally forgotten that they were there and it's been months since I've fed them or given them fresh water. They're so neglected although they don't appear to be. I feel terrible and I'm profoundly sad. It ends about as quickly as it begins. It usually occurs to me the next morning that I had the dream again and it leaves me both disturbed and with a sense of relief that it was only a dream.

This is about as personal as I get in my blog lately. I'm not sure what the dream/night-scare means. I used to think it was possibly metaphoric of the relationship between myself and my former wife, Noy. When we parted it took longer than it should have to get over the fact that I was no longer responsible for any aspect of her life. It probably took Tammy's words to help me fully grasp that. Considering the dream, I thought that maybe the birds were symbolic of some leftover feelings of responsibility I subconsciously had for Noy.  I really don't think they are but I have no way of knowing for certain. But I do feel the birds in the dream represent some sort of neglect. What that is exactly I can't say.

We were back at Foci both Thursday and Friday. I think I'm getting to a point where I'm ready to move on to forms other than the tumblers I've been making. I'd mentioned that I really wanted to understand the basics well before trying to confuse my limited knowledge with lots of other variables that are inherent to different forms. But I think I'm ready to begin pushing the process again. In fact, Steve mentioned to us on Thursday in so many words the same thing...that it's time. That didn't stop me however from experimenting with a couple more tumblers trying to make two of similar shape, size, and coloring. They worked out well. I hope to post photos next week. I've always been a perfectionist so it takes some doing for me to accept that none of the stuff I'll be putting out for a long long time will be anywhere near perfect. We like to refer to our efforts as handmade because that's how they appear.

I took advantage of some cooler weather Saturday to spend the afternoon and early evening on my bike working on getting my legs accustomed to longer distances in preparation for possibly another 200-mile ride (referred to as a 'double' as in double century) in the next few weeks. There was a route in Wisconsin that I wanted to take as it's been a few years since I'd last done it and the winds were ideal to head that way. I got away in the early afternoon but I wasn't sure I had the determination I needed to do what I had my heart set on. Still, I pedaled off and hoped I'd find that resolve out on the road and possibly the sun as well. There's something freeing about having all my work done at home and no commitments to have to hurry back for. I settled into a comfortable pace and began to steadily tick off the miles, my Garmin Edge 705 beeping after each set of 10. I called Tammy at 40 miles to see if she was interested in dinner at Outback later. We had a date.

I stopped to refuel 52 miles into the ride at a Freedom gas station north of Hudson, Wisconsin. I chatted a little with another cyclist outside as we took in our calories. I told him I was heading toward Stillwater and he cautioned me about the hill leading to the bridge just east of the city. "It's a nasty hill," he said. I tucked the information away. It would be good information to have. I headed off again.

Seven miles later, making the turn off the main highway toward Stillwater I was finally able to turn the headwind I'd been working against most of the ride into a tailwind. I quickly found the "nasty hill". It was all I could do to get my bike stopped before the bottom where a steady stream of Saturday afternoon traffic on WI-64 had the right-of-way and I desperately needed to stop to avoid making the news. I was in serious jeopardy of losing it but managed to bale-out toward the shoulder of the oncoming lane. I definitely breathed a sigh of relief. The 1:50 point of the ride video catches the beginnings of the hill.
I pocketed my Droid as soon as I realized I had my hands full.

Leaving Stillwater I had 58 miles behind me but knew I likely had that many more miles to go. I was feeling fine and hoping that feeling wouldn't soon fade. I used our dinner-date at Outback for motivation. It worked.

Five miles from home I got a text from Rachel telling me to hurry because she was starving. "Good," I thought...not 'good' that she was starving but 'good' that she would be joining us. Her company is always welcome.

116 miles/187 kilometers

1 comment:

Jackie said...

You are amazing!