Sunday, April 15, 2012

Can I Have a Cookie?

As a kid I was very persistent; just ask my mom. If I wanted a cookie I'd ask. If she said no I'd persist. "Can I have a cookie?" Like Chinese water torture, I was relentless until I got what I wanted. "Can I have a cookie?"

I grew up in a family where going to church every Sunday morning and attending Sunday school afterward was a way of life. It wasn't anything that I ever questioned; I just accepted it and what I was being taught. Unlike Hosanna where I attend now, I recall the churches I grew up in as places where the emphasis was on "God" rather than "Jesus".

Several years ago Hosanna embarked on a Bible reading lesson plan where with 15-20 minutes spent reading the Bible each day you would finish it within a year. I was all-in having already tried a few previous times to do it on my own but always coming up short, usually crashing and burning in Deuteronomy or was it Leviticus? I managed to get through Hosanna's year-long plan painlessly and started it all over again the next year. I've taken some time off since first adopting it as a part of my routine but this year finds me in my 7th reading of both the Old and New Testaments.

I'm always seeking.

I would've thought that by this point I'd have most of my questions answered. Hardly. Instead, I find myself with more questions than ever. I'm not at all skeptical that Jesus died for my countless sins but there are a few things in the Bible that I simply cannot accept or understand from my puny earthly perspective.

I began writing this piece one week ago but each time I sat down to collect my thoughts I kept coming up empty. It felt like I was forcing it and I don't like to write from that position. The only thoughts coming to the surface were negative, critical thoughts about the struggles I've been having with my faith when I contrast it against too many who wrap themselves in their Christianity but walk an entirely different walk including me. There are enough people bashing Christianity and I didn't want to be just another one of those voices.

My unrelenting quest continues as I search for answers.

Can I have a cookie?

My Enemies Are Men Like Me

i have come to give you life
and to show you how to live it
i have come to make things right
to heal their ears and show you how to forgive them

because i would rather die
i would rather die
i would rather die
than to take your life

how can i kill the ones i’m supposed to love
my enemies are men like me
i will protest the sword if it’s not wielded well
my enemies are men like me

peace by way of war is like purity by way of fornication
it’s like telling someone murder is wrong
and then showing them by way of execution

when justice is bought and sold just like weapons of war
the ones who always pay are the poorest of the poor


Anonymous said...

Jesus never asks us to figure it out on our own. What He does ask is Total surrender of our hearts and minds to Him. Personal revelation comes through The Holy Spirit by surrendering all of our being to Him...that is faith. Jesus wants to open a brand new understanding to our inner being through His Spirit (Its about Him not us "trying")....He doesn't want us looking at others and trying to figure out faith by what we see in this fallen world. If we do, we will miss what He has come for...true freedom from the crap that can make our faith dim. Jesus wants to shine a light on our confusion so our faith grows stronger..and its gaurenteed when we surrender and allow HIM to create a new within us. Its not about the quantity of reading Gods Word but quality on allowing God to speak to us and allowing Him to show us how to apply it to our life. Most of the time, that can be only a couple of verses that God wants rooted in you deeply and personally before He has you moving on to the next thing He wants to teach us personally and intimately...:)

Anonymous said...

Greg is such an awesome teacher! Check out his blog and read his last post....he will have more to say about it in up coming posts but I believe he will answer some of your Scripture hangups. His blog is

Anonymous said...

That address was not correct...just Google Greg Boyd Reknew.